I watch this little baby
Who shouldn’t be in my bed
But is
He sleeps with one foot
And sometimes two foots
Tucked into my legs
Before sleep is deep enough to forget that I am here
He keeps one one hand carefully on my chest
His place of comfort and connection to me
I kiss his sweaty head
And wonder if my kisses color his dreams
Awake, he chatters to da-da all day long
Calling him constantly
for a bit of flirty attention
But mama is usually a wail
Never with the same cheerful easiness of da-da
But a cry for help
Of frustration
But tonight when I came home
mama was a happy shriek
A relieved and joyful noise
That broke open my heart
I watch this little baby
Who shouldn’t be in my bed
But is
With his bare feet tucked into my legs
And his hot hand on my chest
And I feel the ache of what he needs from me
And the exhaustion of trying to give it to him
And the pain and exhilaration all at once of loving someone
And I thank God for this little miracle
Who shouldn’t even
Be
But is
