I am drowning
In this stormy sea
Of fractured thoughts and half-formed ideas.
Drowning in my own head.
Battered by crashing waves of doubt and fear and worry
I thrash, swirling,
Tossed,
Trying to find something whole and understandable
that floats
Something that make sense
to cling to
Trying to keep my head above the thundering, pounding madness
One whole thought to save me
And then sinking beneath the frenzy
into the black and silent darkness
of despair.
Landing at the bottom of it all
No broken thoughts battering
No thoughts at all
Feeling the crushing pressure around my heart
Unable to tell if the pressure is from without or from within
Only shallow teary breaths
Under the strain of the weight of
Everything
Nothing
There is no whole or solid thought that can tell me
I have no name for the pain
Or the pressure or the waves
Or the sea at all
And no name
is no understanding
And so no solution
Battered by an unknown enemy, how do you fight?
I am afraid.
