jinnyruth

jinnyruth

  • Joined: July 28, 2022
  • Articles: 24
  • Comments: 1

to be Free

At some point choosing to be free I realized Meant choosing to be misunderstood I couldn’t be free while being trappedIn the expectationsNo, in my oversized concern about the expectations,To perform Understandable Character Not to audiences who only saw the…

I Choose This

It’s so bumpyAnd we are bruised as we bounce aroundBanging knees and armsAnd even sometimes heads or heartsKnocking into each other and all the things around us as we go It is almost never smooth sailing, as they sayThough there…

Letting Hard Things Be Hard

Benjamin at 3 years old
It wasn't until I started talking about all of the trauma as trauma that the panic attacks around pregnancy and birth stopped. I have come to firmly believe we have to let ourselves acknowledge that hard things are hard. It is dangerous to think that only perfect things can be beautiful and good. Or that hard parts of relationships make them have any less love. So to honor that idea, this is the rest of my birth story.

The Lonely Part

Lonely bird
Leaving the Mormon church has been many things for me. One of those things is hurtful and lonely. Leaving Mormonism is not just leaving your religion, it is also losing your community and your people.

Pride

My husband and I at his sister's wedding
When I was a member, I never let myself consider the implications for even the most generous views on LGBTQ people.

More & Less

view from mountain top
Looking back on the past few months of faith transition, I can see some vast changes in my heart and soul. I am still finding my way in this new world, but I wanted to document some of what I see right now. There are more of some things, and less of others things than there were a year ago.

Covid Trifle

I don't want any of this
Mood: Life in the time of Covid is like staring down a revolting layered dip, the exquisite layers of torment piling sloppily on top of one another, accumulating into one horrifying whole of nauseating glop we are all going to have to eat before we can get down from the table.